In my experience, the way of healing has been the way of truth. There is a scripture that says "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free".

It is my experience that we hold truth within us. We each have our own time for beginning to recognize it and also for understanding it. This insight, this truth (in all the ways it presents itself), awakens us (or if it helps to think of the word "heals"). For me, this process feels like everything, so it requires patience and learning to stay with what feels uncomfortable. This way of experiencing everything can actually become a well of joy. I am only just beginning to tap into this well.

I have said before, "I'm not being vague, I'm speaking in story". Maybe I say this as a disclaimer as I feel other’s frustration when I give something in a way that doesn’t fit into their programmed way of assigning meaning and value to their functional truth. Don’t get me wrong, I do this too. I experience things I do not understand and I try to be okay with them too. We want to be told what we are and what to think and how to feel and when to feel and what to buy and how to "use" it. We use and we’re used to being “used”. We consume and we are consumed. We all have fear in us. We want to make truth static so we may use it to our personal advantage (our defense. our weapon. we feel the need to create enemies to validate our want for more). Us and them….Truth frees us from fear.

Good intentions are not good if they rooted in values that exclude or cause more suffering to ourselves or others. Maybe then our intention is not what we think it is. It is intention, but intention we are not fully aware of. I think we all have blind spots and I’m grateful there is more than enough Grace to practice discovering these and recovering ourselves. Having just a few people in our lives who are also practicing in some degree offers companionship and connection that reminds us we are not alone…or crazy. We are brave souls.

I know I cause frustration in others at times. I hope artists throughout history learned how to compassionately respond to their audiences request for meaning. For me, I choose a silent response often. Humans want tight rules and definitions so we can go on with our lives in the way we want individually. Often, sameness feels safe, and that is a trap. Fear’s manufacturing. We make understanding the highest goal, but understanding is only the beginning. Truth is frustrating, and for good reason. Anything that frustrates us has the potential of bringing us closer to ultimate experience. Closer to ourselves. Closer to the present moment. Closer to truth.

Our experiences provide opportunities for meaning. Meaning is experienced with hefty weight initially, as we experience life objectively. Definitions are important for our development and evolution. Like everything, they have a function. Like most things, their usefulness expires to make way for new things.

In my experience, things like trauma and hurt and confusion are very valuable. They scream the truth. They beg to be understood. Suffering points the way, and it is part of the way of healing. Suffering, although immediately it may feel overwhelming and painful, can be discovered as extremely valuable in a space of love and acceptance. Healing takes time for everyone. No matter where you are on your own journey, you my friend, are an absolute gift.

We have many ways we incessantly measure ourselves, so it is very helpful and lovely to be in community with people who you feel may have "gone before" on their own journeys. People who are good listeners. People you feel safe with. People who don't "measure" you, and when around them you realize you let go of measuring yourself. This is important because it does take time to learn about ourselves and try new things and absorb new ways of living that support our insights for living a life of authenticity.

If you are hurting and need a space and person who feels safe, I highly recommend finding a mental health professional that you feel works for you (heck, even if you’re not but you need some safe feeling connection right now). That’s what I did, and do.

Grace and love,

- Josh