This gloomy and rainy day is much appreciated. I like the feeling and look of mist. Maybe today feels good because the outside matches my inside.

I was thinking earlier this morning about writing about what is in the depths that animates life. I was thinking about below and above, and how we are the bridges that animate many different characters and qualities. I could say we are somewhere in the middle, yet I know we also are all of it.

The earth. The heavens. Hosts of influences unrecognized yet felt. I feel, and right now it is much less important to me that I label an influence as I do understand where it is coming from, so I can balance myself right here and now. My goal is balance rather than labeling or some destination. The engagement with what I feel through feeling and expressing in healthy ways often brings the relief and lesson…rather than trying to THINK my way out of the issue I originally thought myself into…I feel my way back to balance.

Interior. Exterior. Up. Down…Direction.

Direction is language that can help me navigate how I understand my experience and make adjustments to be in the healthy “middle”. It helps me explain to you through language. Sure, I am always in the middle (waking life as we know it), but I am not always fully aware of it. Imbalance pulls my energy and attention towards that cause. The present moment is the beacon many of us are learning how to experience for the first time. Once we realize it, we can get back to it again. From here we can peer into the places of us to work towards balance again.

Waking up is like a seed from which a forest now lives. Things unfold and grow and die and become again in another form. The forest is the seed, and you are both the seed and the forest. What is the original seed that all of life manifests from, and how big is this “forest” really?

Discomfort is not “bad”. If anyone has influenced you to think your growth is supposed to always feel bright and happy, throw that out. Maybe we waste a lot of energy trying to always be happy rather than more balanced.

We can be quick to try to find something to label “bad” when we feel imbalanced. We think if we can find and label a necessary “evil” (God forbid it ever just be our own stupidity), then putting an “other” in its place will solve all of our problems. We get a brief mental high but our life doesn’t change. We still stand back and judge and feel superior, so we still feel discontent and loneliness. Maybe we’re learning one way of living so we can create a healthier way of living.

Move towards the discomfort you feel rather than pushing it away. Recognize why, how, and when you close off and do not want to be vulnerable. Recognize how you avoid accountability and vulnerability by making assumptions.

I learned the value of humor, and it’s now a normal part of my personality. I allow it to be part of even “serious” conversations, because it has in part saved me and it is a necessary for balance.

We often project our fears and discomforts with ourselves through our perceptions of the world. If we don’t really like ourselves much nor know how to be with our insecurities, we can act out towards others in all kinds of ways. No one is really good enough. Oh, of course you found a flaw in someone…shocker. To you a flaw might feel like the end of a job or relationship or something…but to someone else they could just be human…normal.

We have varying degrees of sensitives that can change over time. Society has called people “sensitive” for showing emotion. I am not talking about how we express our feelings/emotions/perceptions, I am talking about sensitivity as one’s abilities in recognizing their environment on its many levels. We are always sensing. What we are not always doing is actively engaging our attention to understand what is actually happening. There is a phrase that goes something like “there is more than meets the eye”. You understanding the landscape I will call you, will teach you about everything else too.

Understanding the experience of your attention and directing it will change your life. Why does attention come into play while I am talking about sense? Because we get to choose our quality of life based on what senses we give our attention to, what we think on, and to what senses we develop or disregard and how we apply them in life.

Experience is a result of impressions upon the senses. The senses guide us from burning our hand on the stove again, but that doesn’t mean that fire is “bad”. A woman cheated on you, but that doesn’t mean that women are “bad’.

The more perceptive we become the more important we realize it is to understand and honor our boundaries. As we grow, those boundaries need to be revised. We may still be open to some things, while others we almost completely disregard now. Boundaries mean we are a responsible individual because we are more clear on ourselves. We become more authentic. One person might find you a trusted and respected friend, another person might label you some kind of asshole for not giving them what they want and being “different” from anyone else they’ve ever met. We can only work through how we show up in the world. We can’t do it for others.