I sometimes find my own “soft spot” (that well of compassion) in the most mundane/basic times of my day. It is like I am caught off guard. I suppose this is a good thing.

These events remind me the world is a lot bigger than myself. These times remind me other people fully exist as well, and they are usually trying their best at life too. No one’s life is easy or perfect and we all have our “shit”.

This might sound kind of drab but it is actually quite comforting. These moments help me come back to myself in a certain way. The soft spot…the well…I am one with it again.

I don’t know about you, but I am quite skilled at taking things personally. Even when I know it’s not about me, it’s hard to remove the “me” that wants to react and feels filled with strong emotions of any kind. Maybe there really isn’t a “me” there, but there sure is a lot of energy. I try to remember to breathe and not use my mind against myself or others.

When I look around I see all kinds of people learning their own lessons on their own paths. The trick is to remember that it is my focus to work on my own lessons and path. Sometimes, it is not just as easy as walking away from a toxic situation I am somehow connected to. It takes some time to “untangle”. In this untangling I realize and learn a lot about how I got here, so I hopefully leave some of those unhelpful tendencies behind.

I think that going into life involves a kind of brutal honesty with myself and learning how to accept things. Accepting things doesn’t mean I’m saying something is okay when it’s not. Accepting things can mean looking at them with a kind of personal honesty that means I hopefully don’t make the same unhelpful decisions. Sometimes we don’t have a lot of good options and we make the best decision we can. It doesn’t have to be a “regret”, it could mean that we now have a kind of compassion for ourselves (now that we have created the space for self-reflection and “healing”.).

Poking a fire doesn’t really help a fire go out. This is why I want to keep coming back to compassion right now. If it hurts, let it be. When we are doing everything we can, that is enough. I know it can feel hard to trust. Just because others have let us down doesn’t mean we have to now let ourselves down.

This life is a remarkable dance. I am always adjusting. Some have said that “life is change”. This feels true.

I think it takes quite a bit of courage to face our raw selves. We are expected to be “nice” and “put together”. What happens then when everything feels like it is or could come apart? What happens when we begin to realize our sense of “me” is actually built on ideas, and this is no longer sufficient? We could think that something is catastrophically wrong, but what if we are just beginning a new kind of relationship with things? What if we are beginning to experience more of what our part is in the river of life, and we need grace for the past versions of ourselves? It’s okay. It takes some time.

We are not so good at feeling out of control, because often our ideas of being in control help us cover up our feelings of ourselves. (I.e. “I’m not good. I’m not enough. I’m a bad person. I’m not far enough along. I’m not successful enough. What if people knew this about me? What if I fail?”).

Keep your courage. Keep moving forward. “Recover” what may be lost. Let it teach you. Enjoy yourself!