Are we living while feeling like we need to prove ourselves?

I wonder why this is. I’m not sure it’s valuable to try to figure this out, but I can talk about alternatives.

Right now we have the ability to think about what makes us who we are. It could be that we love to share. It could be that we really enjoy the challenge of building systems that support the lives of others. It could be that we enjoy helping others through hands-on work. It could be that we enjoy being in nature and helping others engage with it too. There is no limit to what we love because we are all unique.

I enjoy coming more alive and seeing others trust themselves to do the same. I feel like I am just sharing what has already been shared with me, support. I am still learning. It was one of the things I love most about life.

One of my opportunities is paying attention to how much I’m giving and to whom. I have to do this so I don’t burn out or waste energy and time on things that don’t align with my purpose. Purpose is greater than occupation/roles. Sometimes I do jobs I’m not thrilled about, but they lead me towards realizing and becoming more of that purpose. Purpose is the great living theme of who I am. It is what is true of me no matter where I am and what I’m doing. It is what people hopefully feel when they’re around me. It’s how I affect the environments I step into. It is also how I “process” energy, including the energy of the environments I am in.

I suppose some might say I have a counselor type of presence.

When you look at your own life can you recognize your own unique presence/gifts/ways you naturally affect the environments you’re in?

We can feel like we’re kind of lost when we’re struggling to understand how our circumstances are aligning us while we’re realizing our power to affect our circumstances for a greater Purpose. It can feel most challenging to have courage and at the same time surrender when we’re wondering how our best efforts are creating any kind of fruit. Have faith, (as you may have experienced in your own life) actual breakthroughs are not planned. We all of a sudden realize. The space opens even further. These experiences are less than some kind of arrival as they are initiations that remind us we are indeed really walking OUR path. Even if the scenery seems ugly right now, gems sparkle right in front of us when we’re still choosing to stay fully engaged. Our task is to just do our whole-hearted best today. We just have to do one step at a time. Each day matters and is a big gift.

Our ego thinks everything is happening for and to it. Haha! A healthy dose of perspective can remind us how small we are in the cosmos. We hardly understand the scale of the universe or what it is (although the study of one will influence the meaning of the other). If we open to being more curious we open to more possibility. Who couldn’t benefit from more possibilities and play?

The demands of adult life add to us feeling like we must always be ON so as to not get run over by the next person who is racing right next to us.

Is there any help? I think so. How can we cultivate a kind of presence in our life that is less shaky, less reactive, more kind, more calm, more loving, more direct, and less judgmental?

There are methods/practices that we can engage with (some of them incredibly simple). We use our senses and imagination all of the time. Realizing how we are engaging with ourselves/our everyday life empowers us to realize that we can choose more than we were conscious of before. In learning about ourselves we learn better how to relate and cause affects that align with our purpose (I said our Purpose, not our ego). Some people look forward to being in the garden on their days off while others might do some kind of practice/ritual as described by any kind of spiritual stream. “Mundane” activities are no less transformative than others. Our intent is a good indicator of what qualities may follow, even if the results surprise us…this is good.

Do you ever ask yourself what your intent is when considering things like your relationships, jobs, goals? The answers will tell us about our values. Our values should be reflected on because we live in the 21st century and we are evolved enough to take personal responsibility for ourselves. It’s amazing what follows when we take responsibility for ourselves (sometimes to the detriment of unhelpful Orthodox thinking). Maybe things naturally start working themselves out. Personal responsibility is one of the gifts of living as a person.

We can take an active role in our bodies by making new choices through our habits and thinking patterns. For me, it usually takes a while to “get over myself” and in a way kind of just say “fuck it” and move on to the better stuff I really want. Apparently feeling sorry for myself and “beating dead horses” doesn’t get me very far. Okay, it’s actually a waste of time. “Over-caring” and trying to change people and situations has never actually bettered my quality of life (other than teaching me it doesn’t work). Letting go has.

In this moment things are much less solid than they may seem. I wonder if much of our striving/suffering has to do with our beliefs about the way we think things SHOULD be.

An open posture and mind allows things to be as they are (or more accurately “allows us to be with them”), which helps us realize and be as we are. We observe and realize what is happening. Science is telling us what some of us already know. The universe works in predictable ways and ways we can’t predict. It produces very real-seeming things that affect our lives, and when we look deeper we observe seemingly solid things in more accurate understandings of their constant motion or almost seeming emptiness. We see space we don’t know how to describe and effects we can only note. We have to admit there is more happening than we can comprehend. We know we only have part of the picture. There is relief in accepting mystery (even if there is also great pleasure in studying and understanding).

The only constant is change and we get to decide how we respond to it. How are we at being flexible and adaptable? Generating these abilities benefits our lives. The cliche “go with flow” might really be telling us something. We can begin to recognize how things can open up/flow for us.